


ladies and gentlemen, i introduce the selfish machine

by dancingmalum



Series: 5sos gay one shots [10]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Insecure Luke, M/M, Protective Ashton, Sexual Abuse, calum is an asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 08:15:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8482180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancingmalum/pseuds/dancingmalum
Summary: And do you really trust your tongue or did you bury the taste?And is this fantasy real, or is it all home-made?And did you call me last night just 'cause you couldn't get laid?Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce the selfish machine.---Calum and Luke's relationship isn't healthy, so Luke makes a run for it.





	

Luke knows it's going to end up the same way, it always does, but here he is again with the dark haired boy on top of him and kissing down his neck. Luke lets out a soft moan and grabs at Calum's hair, forcing him up to kiss his lips instead of his neck. Calum denies him, instead going back down and kissing his neck and then down his body to the top of his jeans. Luke doesn't confirm that he wants it, but he doesn't deny it either, and then his jeans and boxers are on the floor and he's completely exposed to the older man. Calum's not gentle with him, the gentleness ended years ago, and he's not particularly careful when he starts fingering Luke open.

Luke's body wants it, but his brain doesn't because he knows it'll end in heartbreak again, but his body is responding to the pleasure too much for Calum to take notice of the way Luke's hands try to pry the older man's hands away from him. Luke's crying by now, he usually is, but Calum doesn't care; he's got his mind locked on having sex, and that's the only reason why he hasn't left Luke yet.

Calum doesn't even lube himself up or put on a condom, he just starts pounding into the blonde. Luke's crying, but he's moaning because it feels good even though it really shouldn't. He knows that Calum's just using him for sex now, Calum never really loved him as much as Luke loved him.

Luke doesn't even know how long it is when Calum comes and triggers his own orgasm, and then before Luke could even say anything, Calum's clothes are back on and he's out the door without a word.

Luke starts to sob now, he's naked, cold, and dirty, but he can't find the strength to get up and take a shower. He's weak all over and his muscles are aching, and the liquor he drank before Calum came home isn't helping his pounding headache. Luke hates himself for putting up with this still.

He finally manages to crawl off of his bed and down the hallway to the bathroom, and he turns on the hot water in the bathtub. Luke slowly sits down on the bottom of the tub and winces in pain, his bum hurts so bad and he can't believe he's still dealing with Calum. Five years ago, they met at the first party Luke ever went to, when he was only sixteen, and Calum had taken him from the party and brought him to Dairy Queen for ice cream. He had said that Luke was too young for a party like that, he said that someone could've spiked his soda or given him drugs or taken him upstairs for sex. Luke remembers when Calum was protective of him like that.

After Calum had taken him to Dairy Queen, he had given his number to Luke and kissed him gently before taking him home. They started dating a few weeks after a few dates, and Luke had found his first love. After Calum took his virginity, Luke was too far in love to see that Calum wasn't in love with him; no matter how many times Luke's friends warned him that Calum was a jerk, that he played with people's emotions, Luke didn't listen to them because he was wrapped around Calum's finger, whipped. It was about three years after they started dating when Luke realised that Calum was just using him, and it hurt, but Luke shut right up once Calum hit him for bringing that up.

Luke wants to end the stupid fucking relationship, or whatever they have, but he's too scared that he'll get hit even more. He washes his hair and then leans against the back of the bathtub, closing his eyes and trying to relax.

Luke feels hands on him, lifting him out of the tub and waking him up in the process, and fuck, when did he fall asleep? Calum helps him stand up and he towel dries Luke's body off gently. Luke's crying softly now, it's times like this that make it impossible to just break up with him, because no matter how abusive and rough Calum can get with him, he can be gentle with him as well and Luke's still hopelessly in love with him. It makes it impossible to end it with him, Luke can't help it that he's in love with the gentle and soft side of Calum, and even though he hates himself for putting up with the abuse, he can't do it.

"Luke, babe, are you okay?" Calum asks, gently leading Luke to their room. Luke bites back what he really wants to say and nods. Calum smiles and softly kisses his lips before sliding clean clothes onto the blonde. Luke hates it, he hates that he's in love with this two-faced, deceitful jerk. "I'm gonna make dinner," Calum says, patting Luke's head like a child before leaving him alone in the room.

Luke sighs and sits on the bed, putting his head in his hands and taking deep breaths. He really needs to break up with Calum. He needs to call a friend and ask to stay over if he can finally get out of Calum's house (and his disgusting and hurtful self). Luke shakily leans over to the nightstand and picks up his phone, unlocking it and calling Ashton.

"Hey, Luke, what's up?"

"Ash, I think I might need a place to say for a few days," Luke says softly. "I'm gonna try and talk to Cal, I'm gonna do it tonight."

"Good for you, Luke, talk to him. If you want, I can come pick you up whenever you want," Ashton says.

"No, I'm just gonna talk to him and see how it goes, I'll text you later," Luke says, and Ashton says a goodbye before they hang up. Luke puts his phone in his back pocket and slowly stands up, walking downstairs. He sees Calum stirring the powder cheese into a pot of mac and cheese, and he walks closer to the boy.

"Can you get two bowls out, babe?" Calum asks before Luke even has a chance to say anything. Luke opens a cabinet and pulls two bowls down and hands them to Calum.

"Calum, I need to talk to you," Luke says quietly as he watches Calum scoop mac and cheese into the bowls.

"Of course, babe, what is it?"

"We need to break up," Luke whispers, looking down at the floor.

"We need to what?" Calum asks, turning around. Luke isn't looking at his face, but he can guess by the tone of his voice that he's mad. "Speak up, Luke."

"I can't do this anymore, Calum, we need to break up," Luke says a bit louder.

"You can't do what, Luke? You can't stand me paying for a fucking house, making you food, buying you shit? We need to break up?" Luke flinches at his harsh words, and he's trembling and hating himself for it. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"It hurts when you," Luke has to pause to bite his hand to muffle a sob, "Hurts when you hit me and have sex with me," he chokes out. "I don't like it anymore, it hurts."

"Then you should see how this is gonna fucking hurt," Calum snaps, and Luke looks up just to see Calum's hand as he gets smacked. "You're a fucking wimp. You can't even handle a little pain, Luke, nobody likes a wimp."

"Cal, please listen," Luke says, holding his stinging cheek with tears in his eyes. "I-"

"Shut the fuck up and stop crying like a baby!" Calum yells, and Luke whimpers just before he's being hit again and again. "A baby like you shouldn't deserve a house and a good boyfriend like me," Calum mutters. Not too long after, Luke's on the ground and he gets one last kick. "You're gonna be running back to me within days, Luke, I bet you can't live without me."

"I can, I can live just fine without you," Luke says quietly, his voice rough and scratchy from crying so hard.

"Go. Leave. Come back when you're ready to stop being such a wimp," Calum glares, and Luke slowly stands up while leaning against the counter for help. "Hurry up, go faster," Calum says, his voice raising again, and Luke yelps when his bum gets slapped way too rough. As he's leaving, his phone gets snatched from his pocket so he turns around to ask.

"That's-"

"My phone, Luke, I pay the bills," Calum sneers, and Luke tries to grab it, because no, Luke pays his own phone bill, but Calum holds his phone too far away.

"I pay my own phone bill, give it back," Luke stands up for himself, he's trying not to let Calum bully him like this anymore.

"You won't anymore," Calum says with a sickening smirk before throwing the phone at the floor as hard as he can. Luke gasps and bends down to take it, and he receives another slap to his bum.

Luke grabs his phone and does his best to run to the front door, he's in pain but the adrenaline is pushing him faster. He unlocks the door with shaky fingers and stumbles outside, and he's halfway down the block when the pain catches up to him and he's collapsing onto the sidewalk. He tries to turn on his phone, but the power button isn't working. The home button isn't working either, and the screen is completely shattered. There's even a crack in his phone case. He can't call Ashton to come pick him up, he can't text him either.

Luke slowly stands up, trembling still, walking a few blocks down to Ashton's house. He knocks on the door, leaning against the frame, exhausted. Ashton opens the door and gasps when seeing the blonde, and Luke feels half dead when Ashton's gently leading him inside the house.

"God, Lu," Ashton mumbles, worry in his eyes as he holds Luke's face in his hands to examine the forming bruises and cuts all over. "He really took it out on you this time, pumpkin, how are you feeling?" Ashton asks, using the nickname that he knows Luke likes.

"Terrible," Luke whispers shakily, tears welling up in his eyes again. "I think he tried to-" Luke sniffles and shakes his head, "To kill me," he chokes out softly. Ashton gently pulls him into a hug, and Luke breaks down completely. He sobs and clings to the older boy like his life depends on it, he's lost himself and he's broken and it really fucking hurts.

"I'm so sorry, pumpkin, I'm sorry you have to deal with him," Ashton murmurs softly. Luke keeps sobbing and his shoulders are shaking so hard, he's trembling, and he can't even stand up anymore. Ashton has to pick him up in order to get the blonde to bed safely.

"But I love him, Ash, I love when he's gentle and takes care of me, I just love him," Luke cries into Ashton's pillow. "I fucking love him and I shouldn't but I do, I fucking hate myself because it took me 5 years to leave him."

"Breathe, Lu, you gotta breathe," Ashton says, rubbing the younger boy's back gently. The blonde is calming down, he's only crying now, no sobs or hiccups, and Ashton helps him sit up in bed. "So you left him completely, right?"

"Yeah," Luke sighs, sniffling and wiping his nose. "But he said that I'm just gonna go running back to him."

"You're not going to, pumpkin, trust me. You're staying here with me, I can't let you get hurt by him anymore," Ashton says, one of his arms wrapped around Luke's waist comfortably. Luke sighs again and presses his lips to Ashton's shoulder before leaning against him more.

"I hate that it took me this long just to leave him, I guess I really am a wimp," Luke whispers. The disappointment in his voice is clear, and it makes Ashton's heart ache and Luke just closes his eyes. "Why do I love him so much? I hate myself and he doesn't even help me, he just makes it worse sometimes."

"I know, Lu, I know," Ashton says softly. "We can talk more in the morning, okay? You need to get to sleep soon."

"I think I'm bleeding, I don't even know," Luke sighs. He leans away from the older boy and slowly pulls his shirt off, and Ashton nearly gasps in horror. Bruises are forming across his caved-in tummy and it looks like there's something wrong with one of his ribs. Luke pushes the hem of his jeans down enough to show the scratches of hitting the floor and the sidewalk, and he's crying again. His self-harm scars are new, Ashton hadn't seen the ones on his hips before and they look recent.

Without a word, Ashton carefully picks the skinny boy up and brings him to the bathroom and sets him on the counter. He takes a cloth and warms the sink water, soaking it and wringing it out before gently wiping down the scars and bleeding skin. Luke whimpers quietly, and Ashton glances up and his heart aches even more.

"I don't wanna hurt you, sweetheart, just let me know if it's too much, okay?" Ashton says, and Luke chokes out a sob. Calum never asked if it hurt too much, he just did whatever he wanted to do because he was selfish and Luke was only a body for him to use. Luke bites his palm and tries to stop crying so much, it's not even a big deal that Ashton wanted to make sure that it didn't hurt Luke, but yet it's so much of a big deal because Calum's never cared before. "I can stop if you need me to," Ashton says.

"He never cared enough to ask if he was hurting me," Luke cries quietly. Ashton's fingertips brush against his visible ribs, and a one looks mangled and broken. He touches it softly, and Luke cries out.

"I think it's a broken rib, is it okay if we go to the hospital?" Ashton asks, watching Luke's eyes flicker around before locking with his.

"I just wanna stay with you, we can go tomorrow," Luke says softly, a frown on his face. Ashton nods, and Luke leans forwards a little and kisses his cheek, just barely missing the corner of his lips.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Ashton asks, and Luke shakes his head. The thought of food makes him feel sick, he hasn't eaten a full meal in a long time. Calum used to starve him sometimes if he thought he was being disrespectful, and since then, Luke didn't eat much. "When did you last eat?"

"Yesterday, I ate leftover pizza and earlier I drank, Calum wasn't home," Luke explains.

"No food today? Not a snack or anything?"

"No, just yesterday."

"We have to go to the hospital, pumpkin, I know you wanna stay here, but you're too hurt and you're not eating enough, they can help you better there than I can here," Ashton says. Luke sniffles and looks down, picking at a piece of fuzz on his jeans. "Do you want me to call the police on him? What he's done to you is illegal, and I don't think he's in the right mental state."

"I don't think I'm in the right mental state, either," Luke mumbles.

"That's different, Lu, he's got something reckless inside him, you don't," Ashton explains, Luke nodding a little. "When we go to the hospital, can we tell them what happened? It's important that he knows that he's done something wrong."

"I don't care, tell them if you want. I hate him anyways."

Ashton gently picks the younger boy up again and takes him back to his room, helping him take his jeans off. Luke shyly tries covering up his scar covered thighs, but Ashton already knows. He's known about it since the first time it happened, and Luke just can't stop no matter how hard he tries and no matter how hard Ashton tries helping him. Ashton puts a soft pair of sweatpants on him and helps a big sweater over his head before leading him to his car.

"What hurts the most?" Ashton asks, starting the car and pulling out if the driveway.

"I still love him," Luke mumbles, and it takes Ashton a few seconds to realise what he said.

"Lu," he frowns, glancing over at him sadly.

"And my ribs, my face, my stomach, my legs," Luke continues quietly. "Everything." Ashton reaches out and holds his hand over the middle console, smiling when Luke squeezes his hand a little.

Luke chews on his bottom lip, trying to hold back his tears. He loves Calum because of the way he can be gentle and take care of Luke, he loves when Calum cuddles him and makes him happy.

But Ashton does the same exact things, maybe even better than Calum, and Ashton doesn't hurt him when he gets mad. Luke knows that Ashton would never even think of hurting Luke like Calum did.

"Ash?" Luke asks quietly after a few minutes. Ashton hums, glancing at the younger boy for a split second to let him know he's listening. Luke chokes up, he can't say what he wants to. "What's wrong with me?" He asks instead. He can't even admit to himself that maybe he loves Ashton.

"What do you mean, sweetheart? There's nothing wrong with you."

"But there probably is, I must have something wrong with me if nobody loves me, he doesn't love me at all."

"There's nothing wrong with you, Lu, I promise. And I love you," Ashton replies. Luke shakes his head. Ashton doesn't get it.

"No, I mean, love, like being in love. Not just friendly love."

Luke sighs and closes his eyes, but accidentally falls asleep. All he dreams of is Calum smiling and being nice, but then suddenly he's hitting Luke again and yelling something, but he can't tell what.

Luke wakes up with a gasp, choking for air and panicking. His eyes dart around the room, and every breath brings a sharp pain to his injured rib.

"It's okay, Lu, it was just a bad dream, you're okay," Ashton says softly, and Luke closes his eyes and squeezes Ashton's hand, he didn't even realise he was holding his hand. He's trying to calm down, but it's so hard because Calum is all he can think of, and the Calum in his mind isn't smiling anymore.

"Is he gone? Did they take him?"

"He's with the police, they're probably putting him in jail," Ashton assures, and Luke lets out a breath. He still hasn't looked at Ashton yet, he knows he's going to start crying again if he sees him. "The doctor said you've got a broken rib, he said the best thing to do is just take medication so it doesn't hurt as much. He also wrapped your thighs and some bad bruises in bandages."

"Why the fuck do I still love Calum so much?" Luke asks, still avoiding Ashton's eyes.

"It's gonna take a while to get over him, but I'll be here for you. I'll always be here for you, I promise," Ashton says, and Luke feels like a small weight has been lifted off his shoulders. Ashton's words give him a bit of comfort that he never got from Calum, Calum never promised anything, and if he did, he broke it.

Luke squeezes Ashton's hand gently, finally turning his head to look at him. Ashton's got this fond smile on his face, and Luke can't help but to give a small smile back, because with Ashton, he's not afraid.


End file.
